Manage This

Did you know I often facilitate seminars on conflict management? Yep, it's true. Just this past week I was at a local Christian camp leading the new staffer's through conflict management with each other and this blessed lil' campers. In those situations, I like to handle conflict head on...

Well, that ladies and gentlemen is my professional career. In my personal life, it's not so easy. Afterall, there aren't any big promotions, bonuses, or pats on the back when you manage your own conflict. And really... you have to live in your personal stuff every day. You can't lock up at 5pm and "leave it at the office." There are many reasons why conflict isn't easy. I really don't have to elaborate... you know what I'm talking about, right?

As mentioned in my last blog, the "Prince" wasn't all that prince-like in the end. Dun, dun, dun... hence, the conflict that needed to happen. Sometimes setting boundaries and taking care of yourself requires setting a path that might make others uncomfortable. Nobody likes to hear their short comings, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. Who likes to hear they suck as a boyfriend?

I knew it had to be done though, so we decided to meet up for a drink. He had no idea. Ugh, that just made me feel even worse. And then, he couldn't find the place I suggested, thanks to his poor sense of direction, so we ended up at the place where we had our first date. Fantastic!!

And thus began the 4 hour break up. The first hour and a half was me trying to muster up the courage to let it spill. Eventually, I put my big girl panties on and gracefully started to tell my side of story. Due to past circumstances (mainly with the ex), I didn't know what to expect. I knew the Prince's demeanor (calm, assertive, listener), but you never know what may come when a person feels cornered.

I stuck to my guns. And then I metophorically waited for the onslaught of a verbal assault...

It didn't  come...

...At all.

Instead...

He THANKED me.

That's right folks, you read right. He thanked me.

He thanked me for actually having the courage to tell him exactly what I needed. He thanked me for wanting him to be a better man. He thanked me for not holding back. Wait, really? I was so floored I almost wanted to take back my words and jump into his arms!

It did give me a different outlook. He told me that he could be up to the task and fulfill my requests. I didn't yield entirely, but said I would need time and proof. There were some concrete requests that he has to fulfill first. Yet I did walk away proud. I was proud of the conversation, my courage, and his response. And, I could still see a future there... down the road, of course.

Who knows? This may not be the end of the Prince. Yes, he has called me. He is relentless, yet not stalkerish. So, no worries there. But who knew that being a grown up didn't completely suck in the responsibility department? I spoke my true feelings and the Prince rose to the occasion. That's a point for both of us. But I'm still sticking to my guns... for now.